Men and Women Jokes

1)   SHOCK

          In a crowded bus, a man   intentionally touches a girls hand.

girl: kyun be.?

man: sorry , I am an electrician. Mujhe  bar bar shock lene ki aadat hai.

Girl gets angry and pricks him fiercely with a needle.

man  (screaming with pain) : kyun  kiya..?

Girl: I am a nurse. Mujhe bar bar bimar ki cheek sunne ki aadat hai..


2) STOCK EXCHANGE

6)  Three ladies were returning home after shopping. Two of them who spent a lot where boasting  and making fun of the third for buying so less.

1^st :  I spent  so much  that my dad won’t give me a single rupee  hereafter.

2^nd : I  spent the entire money my husband sent to me this year.

The third got angry but still managing  to save some pride said.

“Last  month I shopped so much for my sister’s wedding that BSE Sensex  dropped by 15 points”

3) Punar Janam 

 Raju  sees a beautiful girl  in a  temple. He goes to flirt with the girl along with his friend shyam.

Shyam to girl: " Yeh raju hai. yaad karo  pichle janam me  yeh   Dev  tha , tumhara  pati, aur  isi mandir mein  tum dono ne shaadi ki thi.."

suddenly Raju s   girlfriend  comes running , hugs raju  and says "Itne din kahaan  pe the jaaneman..?"

Girl: Ab, yeh kaun hai.?

Shyam : Dev  apne shaadi ke baad  isse mandir mein milne aya karta tha.

  

4) Height of concern
   Don’t always  sit in front of the computer, you will diminish   your  eyesight,
   a  women  said  to her 95 year old husband.